Home > Change, Future, Opinion, Personal > Reflecting on the Choices we make

Reflecting on the Choices we make

I have just come to the insight that when I am old and perhaps sitting in my rocking chair on my verandah … reflecting on my my life to that point … I will look at the life that my choices have created and I will be content that I have given everything I had … I will understand that I did the best I could have done given the beliefs and expectations I had at the time.

We need to learn from life .. as Einstein said … most of us keep doing the same thing over and over again and expect different results, surely this is the true definition of insanity .. we all do it … we try and engage with people with our flawed behaviour patterns and wonder at some point why more is demanded  … I have these failings … what worked in a business environment, has no chance of working in a personal relationship … we need to hit a moment in our lives, a surrender point  … and in that moment the imperative comes … as it does for the whole of humanity … change is the only course there is … its only about the stakes. The only thing that can be changed is the present … that is where we create the future – however when we have nothing left by choice or by circumstance that is when we are the most open to change … to find a way to achieve that, to rebuild who we are and to control our flawed behaviour patters would be something wonderful .. there must be a way … indeed something to think about, any thoughts would be welcome!

For the past, there is nothing creative that can come from regrets … they are only good for wallowing in … take the learning of those experiences, integrate them with your life, and move forward, allow those lessons to change the future.

Don’t get me wrong … I have screwed up sometimes publicly, many times personally with my loved ones and family … but at the time I led with my feelings, sometimes they were fraught and scattered .. too often they were about me and my needs  … and not what they should have been … but like all of us … life is an inside job … we create the life we believe in … the one we should have, at any moment in our lives – this changes in every moment as we evolve.

That is why our past does not determine who we are now, or in anyway it has a relation to who we will become … give yourself a break … the future is yours to create in this moment … for me I don’t have goals as such (other than to help  who I can) … I believe in a living my life, based on a few basic truths and with my values … they will get me where I need to be.

What each of is focus on may be different for each of us .. that is your personal preference, each one is valid for you

For me these are my focus:

(1) each morning I get out of bed, looking forward to the day ahead and what it will bring to me .. what I will learn.

(2) I know there is much I cannot do, but I can live my life in the best way for me … as well what I can do within my sphere of influence is to help who I can … who hopefully will pass that feeling onwards to others … I also know that looking at the enormity of what does need doing to make this a more loving world .. I can only help who I can … even if that is just one person, who hopefully will help others.

(3) Now, I think before I speak … knowing that what I say affects others .. trying to make everything I say improve on the silence .. because silence itself can be incredibly powerful – hence if you can’t say nothing that is positive and creative .. don’t say anything at all 🙂

(4) Be curious all the time at everything and anything – in relationships (all) seek to understand before you seek to be understood.

(5) I like to walk, to exercise, I suppose it is part of my meditation .. the pure zen of it, the one step in front of the other …

(6) I like to nurture … to create .. to me that manifests in my life in the building and investing in relationships … most times these are not deep .. but some can be … whether they end up being sustainable … is not really what is important … what is, is that every experience and every person that comes into your life, teaches you something about you … and what you need to understand and let your self push beyond your own boundaries .. to grow and evolve.

Love everyone … for they are part of us … all life is … my parting gift would be forgive yourself and look to, and trust your feelings for you know how you want to live your life … trust absolutely few people in your life … for trust is the ultimate gift one gives to another … it is the foundation of all real, long term “life” relationships. For me in that regard … I have been very fortunate.

Comments would be welcome … what aspects of life are important to you ?

xxxx

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Categories: Change, Future, Opinion, Personal
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